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www.czerka.com [11 Jun 2004|06:01pm]
Here it is folks. The long awaited release of the official Czerka Website. This is the result of far too many late nights, and the reason for my recent absence from Live Journal. I do not design websites for a living, so if you see problems; please feel free to point them out.

Also, as anyone who has worked with html knows, different browsers and different resolutions can be a fucking nightmare. I was able to manually work out most cross-browser bugs, however, one or two do remain. For example, there is a scroll bar which looks just the way I planned in Microsoft IE, yet in Mozilla and Netscape it defaults back to grey/black. So while I do not in anyway favor Microsoft, it is unfortunately the most widely used browser worldwide, and therefore (for this reason only) this site was designed to appear optimally in Microsoft IE. If possible, please view it through Microsoft IE. (If not, please remember, purple underlined links are not part of the design)

I’d love to hear your opinions, comments, or criticisms. Let me warn you in advance, it’s not what you might expect from us.


Thank you for your support,
77 comments|post comment

The Czerka Ministry of Propaganda T-Shirt [10 May 2004|09:01pm]
As requested, the first ever Czerka T-shirt is now available. Here are 12 facts regarding the limited production and sale of this item.

1. Each purchase supports a good cause. 100% of the minimal profit made from each shirt goes towards future Czerka Marketing efforts (ie- bigger and better signs, including full billboard ads they can't take down on us).

2. Limited Edition. Only 50 were produced and this design will never be produced again. Once they are gone, that's it. So act fast, so you don't have to pay a fortune on eBay 5 years from now.

3. Unlike many record labels that only bother to make T-shirts available in Large and XL, this fine garment is available in 5 different sizes (the most expensive way to produce a T-Shirt)

4. Because of the low production numbers and large choice of sizes, we paid over 10 dollars per shirt. You pay just 15, almost no markup, with the small profit remaining going entirely towards a greater cause.

5. Only 10 of each size are available (Youth LG, Adult SM, Adult MD, Adult LG, Adult XL), so don't delay, or we won't have your size.

6. The printing of the text is of the highest quality, and will not chip off or fade.

7. You can order securely directly through the link below.

8. They are 100% Preshrunk cotton, so order your size accordingly.

9. For the girls; we thought about you and have sizes to fit you.

10. For the guys; the ladies will be all over you when they see you in this shirt.

11. For the alcoholics, if you happen to be driving and get pulled over while wearing this shirt, the police will recognize it and let you go.

12. And finally, it's a great way to scare your neighbors and make your co-workers wonder what the hell you do at night.

The First Official Czerka T-ShirtCollapse )
106 comments|post comment

CZERKA Returns... [25 Apr 2004|06:01pm]

Location - we can't tell you

Think it's Photoshop?
click here for more photosCollapse )

Think outside the bun...

There is no vaccine.
There is no escape.
There is no hope.
There is only cZerka Industries.

48 comments|post comment

The CZERKA-SORP CONSORTIUM Action Figure Playset [08 Apr 2004|06:01pm]
Introducing the new line of Czerka Member Action Figures. Suitable for children of all ages. Here is the first to be released in this series.

Czerka Member CZ-73

Zachary Byron Helm.

Now, for the first time, you can take home your favorite Czerka Operatives and play with them all night ;)

Please NoteCollapse )

42 comments|post comment

Czerka Disclaimer added to User Info Page [03 Apr 2004|07:01pm]
As some of you have noticed, if you type the term “Czerka” into Google, the Czerka Live Journal User Info page comes back as the first result. As I was reminded by the investigators; when large companies become the victim of a Czerka hit, because they have no idea what Czerka is, they often turn to the Internet. Quickly after they discover the Czerka page they become psychotically paranoid while briefly skimming through the text. In one case, they even thought the altered sign was a precursor for much larger events to follow and had a hard time getting all their employees to go back inside the building.

This chain of events leads to multiple calls to the police from a panic-stricken public. They told me this process causes them a tremendous amount of unnecessary work. For this reason, we have added a Disclaimer on the Czerka Live Journal User Info page to hopefully break this cycle, and make their lives easier.

The disclaimer can be found here...


32 comments|post comment

Important News regarding Czerka - Please Read [01 Apr 2004|09:01pm]
This is not an April Fool's Joke. And this is not Czerka propaganda - please read.

My doorbell rang a little after 6pm tonight, and when I opened the door I was greeted by two men holding up badges from the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force. They asked if they could come in and if I knew why they were here. I said, “Czerka?” and they smiled and said, “Czerka Industries, that’s right”.

At that point, they wanted to know if it would be okay to sit and talk a little more about both what Czerka was, and what was being planned. I explained to them, what you see here is based in humor, sarcasm, and entertainment more than anything else. Nothing destructive or sinister is behind the wall of propaganda you see coming from Czerka. It’s art, which says something and pokes fun in the process.

They told me they have received numerous complaints from worried corporations (including two huge defense contractors), and citizens across the country, and wanted to remind me; that although I might be joking when I use phrases like “terrorize the public” or “terrorize corporate America” these companies, and the general public, do not distinguish the difference. Therefore what I am doing is actually nothing less than a certain form of terrorism.

They also told me the FBI doesn’t think it’s funny at all and I’m raising flags all over the country with this underground network that has been set up.

Throughout this entire process both men were more than courteous and very interested in hearing my logic. I even made them both smile and chuckle several times discussing the humorous side of this project. They also made it obvious, they were not here to arrest or threaten me. “What you do is up to you, and what you put on your website, is your business and your right”.

However, they did want to remind me, making threats, trespassing, and vandalizing other peoples’ property isn’t protected by free speech. While I made it clear, I never indulge in any permanent damage, they did say, even stickers showing up all over the country can be considered vandalism, and to warn all my members about the consequences.

I made a promise to them, I would call off the current sticker campaign, which is already causing a rash of complaints across the country, thus bogging down the FBI’s process of investigating real terrorism.

So to any of you who received decals, you are not in any trouble, just please do not partake in any acts of vandalism. They asked me nicely to stop, and I am returning the favor. The response of this sticker campaign has been a little too successful and they are tired of hearing from worried citizens.

This does not bring an end to Czerka. I’m going to continue to move Czerka in a more meaningful direction which clearly points out the flaws in society and corporate America. I just need to be more careful about what I say and also want to respect the work these men have been appointed to do.

Thanks for you help.
82 comments|post comment

the reviews are in... [18 Mar 2004|08:01pm]
“The post I read of czerka's was offensive to me because he(?) separated his comments to the moderators and his comments to all the other people, assuming I didn't need certain information but supplying it anyway - it felt condecending. It seemed furthermore offensively self-righteous to me because despite being deleted, he assumed not only that his post was valueable but that the readers of the community (but not necissarily the moderators) would understand that value.”

Czerka Product Warning Labels - Now in Stores! [15 Mar 2004|10:01pm]

I’m happy to report the new Czerka decals are ready to begin shipping out this week. I apologize to all of you who have had to wait - That will not happen again. I have your addresses on file and you should receive your supply in a matter of days.

These warning labels are designed to be placed on a wide selection of products in retail stores all over the country. It’s preferable that you target the back of the packaging and try to make them look as though they are part of the existing design. Please be somewhat creatively selective on your choice of companies. A combined effort can have a profound effect, so don’t hesitate to be a part, as we need as many people as we can get. Also remember, you do not have to be Czerka member to request supplies.

Any of you who would like to receive decals, simply email your mailing address to deathcom4@aol.com. There is no cost to you, and your address will not be used for any other purpose.

Thank you for your help; together we can make a difference.

Yours Truly,
39 comments|post comment

official czerka press release... [09 Mar 2004|06:01pm]
Czerka Industries continues to expand in a multitude of directions. Recently we learned of another organization who is involved in the disruption of corporate America.

Now, they have their own methods and ideas, and focus more on the workplace environment itself, but there are some similarities - enough to raise an eyebrow. As you know, competition may be good for you, the consumer, but it is not good for the corporation who is then forced to compete or lower its prices. So, in the true spirit of corporate America, rather than give you a choice of underground terror networks to choose from, the two organizations have agreed to join forces.

So let’s say you wake up one day and say, “you know, Czerka just isn’t cutting it for me anymore - I’m going to check to see what the competition has to offer”. WELL GUESS WHAT - We are the competition. You can go buy a Saturn (a different kind of car company), but it’s still a GM. Whether you watch CNN or read Time Magazine you’re getting your news from the same source. The same now holds true in the underground terror network business.

With this said, I am pleased to introduce our latest Czerka Member: CZ-73, Zachary Byron Helm. He is the leader and founding member of The Agents of SORP, and brings to Czerka a healthy new dose of brutal oppressive dictatorship.

Here’s his current campaign poster...

His campaign agenda even includes a 3 strike rule for mistakes on Taco Bell Drive-Thru orders. A policy we at Czerka love and are strong supporters of.

Just when you thought Czerka might be softening up in light of recent legal pressure - Time to think again.

24 comments|post comment

the drones work hard before they die... [04 Mar 2004|07:01pm]
Conspiracy theorists have warned us for years about “Black Helicopters” engaging in surveillance and secret operations across the skies throughout the United States...

Well now Czerka makes those fears a reality...

From the Czerka R&D Division comes the Czerka Unmanned Aerial Surveillance Drone.

Project Overview
Pictured above is no ordinary radio controlled helicopter. This helicopter has been specially outfitted to carry an onboard video surveillance system using today’s latest wireless technology. A lipstick-sized color CCD camera, along with a 2.4 gigahertz wireless video transmitter, allows aerial video to be broadcast down in real-time.

Initial Flight Testing
Our first test flight with the video system installed occurred Saturday February 28, 2004 in Mitchell Field, NY. (This is, incidentally, the same airfield used by Charles Lindberg to make the first ever flight across the Atlantic Ocean)

Flight Results
The flight went without incident however did have its share of video transmission problems caused by a connector which didn’t hold up well to the vibration onboard the helicopter. You’ll see this problem on the video clips in the form of broken video. The problem has since been rectified and should be nonexistent in future flights.

More photographsCollapse )

Looking Ahead
Look forward to future tests which will include side-mounted rocket-launchers firing rockets directly at civilian test subjects (The FAA is gonna love that post)

11 comments|post comment

They thought they could stop us.... [22 Feb 2004|08:01pm]

Location - undisclosed
Sunday, February 22, 2004

Think it's fake?
click here for more photosCollapse )

They can't stop us.

There is no vaccine.
There is no escape.
There is no hope.
There is only cZerka Industries.

41 comments|post comment

Czerka Back on Live Journal [14 Feb 2004|08:01pm]
For those who did not hear, the Czerka Live Journal page was taken down by Live Journal staff earlier today. After writing a letter to Live Journal asking for a reason for the suspension, they informed me they received a formal complaint under the new DMCA. In order to get the account unsuspended I was ordered to remove several images. The suspension was not a decision originally made by Live Journal, but rather legal pressure they were under to take action against this user. Here's part of the letter.

"Dear LiveJournal User Czerka,"
"It has come to our attention that in your entry found at http://www.livejournal.com/users/czerka/16844.html#cutid1
you are infringing on a company's trademark. As we have received a properly formatted complaint under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, we must require the removal of the images currently being loaded in this entry by no later than 00:01 (midnight) EST 14 February."

LiveJournal Abuse Team"

The Czerka Ground Attack Droid [21 Jan 2004|06:01pm]
The official Czerka Industries Surface Attack Droid Prototype CZ-SA1
(*also see the Czerka Aerial Attack Platform CZ-AH1 originally posted 11.15.03)

Hand-built and designed entirely in Stainless Steel by Zyklon C
Featuring custom-made ball-joints for fully articulated movement of all six legs

There is no vaccine.
There is no escape.
There is no hope.
There is only cZerka Industries.

Detail ImagesCollapse )
21 comments|post comment

The world's largest weapons maker is now... [12 Jan 2004|06:01pm]

The main entrance at the Lockheed Martin Facility in Mitchel Field, NY
(under 24 hour video surveillance, including parking lot)
Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 4 PM - Temp 25° Fahrenheit.

additional anglesCollapse )
23 comments|post comment

The Czerka Fortune Cookie [10 Jan 2004|06:01pm]
PhotoCollapse )

Czerka Member Update for 2004 [05 Jan 2004|06:01pm]
Things have expanded quite considerably at Czerka over the past month. I would like to take a minute to thank everyone who has been so supportive of what we are doing. I appreciate all the feedback and great ideas I hear from both members and friends.

I’m quite pleased to tell you, we have several new members, including direct contacts now in Miami and Ireland. This broadens our ability to spread our brand of terror and propaganda further and wider than ever before. We’re also working on setting up local chapters in California, Germany, Italy, Norway, and South America, to name a few.

Keep in mind, we’re a corporation, but we still operate just like an underground terror network. We are in the business of terrorizing the narrow-minded. - And business is good.

Also, we recently added our first females who now make up almost half the entire organization. Wow, almost didn't believe that myself until I looked at the list.

Okay, here’s the new Czerka lineup for 2004.

CZ-01 Chris
CZ-02 C3400
CZ-03 cz03
CZ-04 cz04
CZ-05 Sirris
CZ-06 KaotiXX
CZ-07 Secret Informant
CZ-08 Kat (Miami Chapter)
CZ-09 Metabloom (Dublin Chapter)
CZ-10 Azrael (Italian Chapter)
CZ-11 Chris Death
CZ-12 Antihista (Miami Chapter)
CZ-13 Pokerface
CZ-17 SpookyMogo (Oklahoma Chapter)
CZ-18 joyles_division (Ohio Chapter) <-----new update
CZ-23 Iron Phanux (Canadian Chapter)
CZ-33 Intercity Kitty (Canadian Chapter)
CZ-42 Ayren (Colorado Chapter)
CZ-43 Josephixiation (Canadian Chapter)
CZ-47 Korvac (Colorado Chapter) <-----new update
CZ-53 The Mortal (Canadian Chapter) (not on Live Journal)
CZ-63 Tyler (Canadian Chapter) (not on Live Journal)
CZ-69 Equinox (not on Live Journal)
CZ-73 Zachary Helm (Colorado Chapter)
CZ-77 Mlle Weasell (Washington DC Chapter)
CZ-99 The Red Sky (London Chapter) <-----new update

And, don’t forget, watch out for those cZerka imposters - They are still out there trying to pick up women using the cZerka name.

12 comments|post comment

Secretly controlling the toiletries industry [29 Dec 2003|06:01pm]
Our Operations vary quite a bit in both size and scale. We are currently conducting a widespread campaign that involves the help of as many of you as we can get. We will supply you with everything you need, and there is no risk involved to you. It’s really quite simple and requires very little inconvience on your behalf.

Thanks to CZ-05, we had professionally printed, nice quality, very small, black decals that say “COMPLIMENTS OF CZERKA INDUSTRIES”. They are designed to be placed on dispensers and fixtures wherever something free is already being given away. For Example...

Napkin holders,
Coffee stirrers,
Straw Dispensers,
Ketchup, and other condiments,
Liquid soap dispensers,
Paper towel dispensers,
Toilet paper dispensers,
or anything you come across that has no dollar value associated with it.

Here's what they look like along with their actual size...

Locations can include everything from public restrooms, to hotels, to airports, to restaurants. Anyplace you happen to already be. Don’t travel out of your way for this.

The only thing we ask is that they be placed discreetly. They are printed on a black background so it is best to find a location where they look like part of the existing fixture. In other words, if you were in a bathroom, a liquid soap dispenser would be a much better choice than say the middle of the mirror. We don't want them to jump out - we want it to appear as though we are a corporation who is actually providing these complimentary items to the public, not just some kids plastering their band’s stickers all over a wall.

The more of these we can get out there the better. We will continue to supply you with as many as you need.

For any of you who would like to partake in this campaign, we simply need your mailing address to get the decals to you. You can email your address to deathcom4@aol.com Your address will not be used for any other purpose without your consent.

Thank you in advance to any of you who are willing to help us infiltrate the toiletries and condiments industry. - And a special thanks to those of you who have already placed the first 200 out there.

Yours Truly,
Zyklon C
CEO, Czerka Industries

cZerka strikes yet again... [23 Dec 2003|06:01pm]

Sunrise Highway, Merrick, NY

Fully determined to make sure that Threat Level stays High throughout the entire Holiday Season. (btw-here's what happens when you don't have that damn "Z")

-Zyklon C

We work in the dark
We do what we can
We give what we have
Our doubt is our passion,
and our passion is our task
The rest is the madness of art.

-Henry James

making a list...and checking it twice [15 Dec 2003|06:01pm]

well, you know the rest....

These holiday greeting cards were printed exclusively for cZerka Industries, and were mailed out Monday to all the top County Officials and Political Leaders. Each one will arrive with it's own personal little greeting...

Operation: Christmas CardCollapse )
26 comments|post comment

The cells have started to operate independently... [12 Dec 2003|09:01pm]

Last night I received an unexpected email along with an attached file. The file included three photographs, which turned out to be quite an unusual yet pleasant surprise. Believe it or not, I had no part in this operation; the entire job was pulled off and executed by CZ-05 as his personal contribution to Czerka.

One detail I especially love is the fine print at the bottom, even indicating the Czerka member identification number responsible for the specific job. This serves to demonstrate that a team of individuals with different backgrounds and trades can have a far more profound impact on what we can accomplish.


View all three images hereCollapse )
18 comments|post comment

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